"Many Photos" - A woman who was 'accidentally celibate' for five years shares what she learned

A writer who was celibate for five years has opened up on how she arrived at that point, and why she doesn't need sex to be happy. 

Christine Brooks, 49, from Massachusetts, explained that after her last breakup five years ago, she needed to take some time to 'regroup, refocus and remember who I was.' 

Penning an article for the Huffington Post, Christine spoke of the pressures of her family and friends questioning her, and how she escaped the false notion that sex is critical to happiness. 

After breaking up her five-year 'dry patch' with a 'meaningless hook-up' last year, Christine has now been celibate for a year again - and is content focusing on herself. 

During her 'dry streak', Christine Brooks rekindled old passions like writing and surfing 

'Five years of celibacy isn't something I planned. It's something that happened when I began to focus on myself and stopped looking for a Netflix-and-chill buddy,' she said, adding: 'Sex just never occurred to me as something I was missing in my life.'

Recalling her last relationship, Christine said she lost touch with her own needs and her 'sense of identity' when she became a stepmother who had to care for a toddler, while also looking after her dying mother. 

The writer added that she had become 'so absorbed' in her attempt at 'happily ever after', that 'self-care had been replaced with self-loathing' adding: 'As such, becoming celibate came very naturally.'  

She said that she was able to rekindle old passions and even stopped shaving her legs and counting calories, as well as growing out her faux hawk hairstyle. 

But, Christine said, this - combined with her lack of male partners - gave rise to family whispers that she may be a lesbian. 

In reality, however, she was just becoming the 'person that made me happy' again - even writing a novel that she had always planned.  

Christine had to bat off suggestions that she may be a lesbian just because she had no partner

Christine added that her accidental celibacy was aided by the fact that during her five year sabbatical only one man asked her out. 

'After the first year passed, I acknowledged that I hadn't had sex, but made no effort to end my dry streak,' she said. 

She added that she drew a distinction between 'not having sex' and celibacy when even her family gave up on trying to find her a partner. 

'Somehow, being single was becoming threatening, and I was growing tired of defending myself and explaining why I was single and abstaining. 

The 49-year-old says she is now finally comfortable without sex and is enjoying her new life

'I never made a conscious decision not to have sex, but as I drew, wrote and worked in my garden, it never seemed important to me, at least not as important to me as it seemed to be for everyone else in my life that knew of my 'dry spell,'' she said. 

While she longed for some of the good things a relationship brings, Christine said that while listening to friends on the verge of divorce, she sometimes felt 'relieved'. 

But the longing for 'human contact' and a sudden realisation in a Dublin coffee shop led Christine to text an old friend for a hookup upon her return to the US - exactly five years after her last sexual partner. 

'I simply decided it was time to end my celibacy. Between working full time, graduate school and living with, and caring for, my elderly father, I realised I had no time for a relationship but the time had come to end my drought ― if only for the sake of ending it,' said Christine. 

She said that she and her friend had 'passionless, mechanical sex'. 'It wasn't bad, but it wasn't fun either and it certainly was not working,' she added. 

During her spell without sex, Christine was 'becoming the person that made me happy' again

Christine said that her motivation for the planned tryst was to, like days gone by, feel 'good, naughty and feel like I thought everyone else did.' 

'But instead, I felt nothing,' she added. 

She said her relationship with sex is different to what it was in her 'heyday'. 

'At 49 years old, I no longer needed a man to satisfy me, or if I did, it needed to have feeling behind it. Just doing it to do it felt like more of a chore and was simply a passionless act,' she said. 

Writing six months after the meet up, Christine said she realises now that the 'act of sex does not provide the spark that I thought I needed.'

Hinting that she has returned to celibacy, she added: 'It is being happy alone and enjoying life on my own terms that turns me on and gives me a natural high.' 

She concluded: 'I ended my celibacy last year, mostly just to end it. It has quickly been a year of celibacy again though. My priorities have shifted and dating isn't on my horizon. Plus, I am a horrible picker of men'. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

link
https://textbacklinkexchanges.com/a-woman-who-was-accidentally-celibate-for-five-years-shares-what-she-learned/
News Photo A woman who was 'accidentally celibate' for five years shares what she learned
Advertising
You don’t have to pack away your dress just because you’re the wrong side of 20. These body-beautiful stars reveal their secrets to staying in shape and prove you can smoulder in a two-piece, whatever your age. Read on and be bikini inspired!

Kim says: “I am no super-thin Hollywood actress. I am built for men who like women to look like women.”
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/07/22/15/16348032-7272843-image-m-7_1563804068008.jpg