DEAR DEIDRE: I MISSED taking my wife to her sister’s 30th birthday party because – yet again – I had taken another girl to bed.
Whenever I go out for a drink after work, I end up having sex with some random girl, or sometimes even use an escort.
I am 35 and my wife is 33. We have been married for three years but I know I will lose everything if I carry on like this.
My job is stressful and on a bad day I go out after work and buy cocaine. Then I pick up a girl in a bar to have sex.
If I can’t find a willing girl, I pay for an escort. I know a couple of places where the girls are OK.
Last Friday was my sister-in-law’s 30th birthday and she was having a party at their parents’ house.
My wife had warned me not to be late home. I finished work early but couldn’t resist going for a quick drink.
I did my usual line of coke then a pretty girl caught my eye. She was younger than me but we got chatting and flirted — and she eventually invited me back to her flat.
We had sex, then I left to go home. It was nearly 11pm when I got there. My wife had already gone to the party, of course, so I went to bed.
She came home about 1am and woke me up. She was furious. She said she had lied to her family that I was working late but she was sure nobody believed her.
She told me this was one time too many and if I ever let her down again, we’re finished. She’s a wonderful wife. I love her dearly and I hate myself for cheating on her like this.
Every time, I promise myself I will not do it again. But a week later I do the same thing again.
I want to break this horrible cycle but I just don’t know where to start.
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PERSONAL debt here totals £1.5TRILLION and the average household owes £15,000 – before mortgages.
Find the right help with my e-leaflet Solving Debt Problems.
For a copy, email me at problems@deardeidre.org or private message me on my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You can break this cycle but you need willpower and to look for ways to make it easier for yourself to make different choices.
Unless you are ready to walk out of this job, there will continue to be days that are stressful.
So have a plan ready. Instead of the coke and all that follows, have your kit ready at work and go for a swim or a run, or simply go and sit in a park and breathe. Call your wife as soon as the working day ends and arrange a relaxing evening together, at home or out somewhere.
Imagine she is your mistress and maybe book into a hotel. (Best have a sexual-health check first.)
If you struggle to stop using cocaine, you can find support through FRANK (talktofrank.com, 0300 123 6600). And talk to your line manager about how to make workdays less stressful for everyone there.
READ NEXT IN TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE My wife’s only 22 & has ballooned to a colossal size — I can’t have sex with her
READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Mick’s wife is waiting to seduce him when he gets back from his lover’s place
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News Photo Whenever I go for a drink after work I end up cheating on my wife — I must break the cycle
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