New photo Marriage gets happier over time: Couples argue less and laugh more as the years go by, study finds

Bickering decreases the longer a couple are married and is replaced by humor and understanding, scientists have found.

Rows that are typical of the early and middle years of a marriage, when children and finances cause a lot of strain, are only temporary, American psychologists concluded.

And as the husband and wife age, they crack jokes more and understand each other, ushering in a more forgiving time in their relationship.

The findings upend the stereotypical portrait of an older married couple as becoming set in their ways and arguing more with their partners.

Negative emotions like defensiveness decreased as the years went by, researchers found

TV series like One Foot in the Grave have portrayed older couples as barely able to stand each other with the flame of passion having long been extinguished.

The study involved tracking couples over a 13-year period who had been married between 15 and 35 years.

Couples were either in the middle-aged group, 40-50 years old and married at least 15 years, or the older group, 60-70 years old and married at least 35 years.

Each couple was analyzed in three sessions, each of which was five or six years apart.

During each session the couples engaged in 15 minutes of unrehearsed conversations about an area of disagreement in their marriage which was videotaped an analysed.

Their listening and speaking was rated according to their facial expressions, body language, verbal content and tone of voice.

Emotions were put into the categories of anger, contempt, disgust, domineering behavior, defensiveness, fear, tension, sadness, whining, interest, affection, humor, enthusiasm and validation.

The study, which was published in the journal Emotion, showed a rise in positive behaviors such as affection and humor.

Negative emotions like defensiveness decreased as the years went by.

Women were emotionally more expressive than their husbands, who tended to be less affectionate and more domineering, but that did not contradict the overall positive trend.

Study author Robert Levenson, a University of California Berkeley psychology professor, said: ‘Our findings shed light on one of the great paradoxes of late life.

‘Despite experiencing the loss of friends and family, older people in stable marriages are relatively happy and experience low rates of depression and anxiety. Marriage has been good for their mental health.’

Alice Verstaen, a pHD student who also carried out the study, said: ‘Given the links between positive emotion and health, these findings underscore the importance of intimate relationships as people age, and the potential health benefits associated with marriage.

‘These results provide behavioral evidence that is consistent with research suggesting that, as we age, we become more focused on the positives in our lives.’

The results are the latest to emerge from a 25-year UC Berkeley study headed by professor Levenson of more than 150 long-term marriages.

The participants, now mostly in their 70s, 80s and 90s, are heterosexual couples from the San Francisco Bay Area whose relationships they began tracking in 1989.

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News Pictures Marriage gets happier over time: Couples argue less and laugh more as the years go by, study finds 

You don’t have to pack away your bikini just because you’re the wrong side of 20. These body-beautiful stars reveal their secrets to staying in shape and prove you can smoulder in a two-piece, whatever your age. Read on and be bikini inspired!

TEENS
Hayden Panettiere
Size: 8
Age: 18
Height: 5ft 1in
Weight: 8st

To achieve her kick-ass figure, Hayden – who plays cheerleader Claire Bennet in Heroes – follows the ‘quartering’ rule. She eats only a quarter of the food on her plate, then waits 20 minutes before deciding whether she needs to eat again.

Hayden says: “I don’t have a model’s body, but I’m not one of those crazy girls who thinks that they’re fat. I’m OK with what I have.”

Nicollette says: “I don’t like diets – I see it, I eat it! I believe in eating healthily with lots of protein, vegetables and carbs to give you energy.”

kim cattrall

Size: 10-12
Age: 52
Height: 5ft 8in
Weight: 9st 4lb

SATC star Kim swears by gym sessions with Russian kettle bells (traditional cast-iron weights) and the South Beach Diet to give her the body she wants. To avoid overeating, Kim has a radical diet trick – squirting lemon juice on her leftovers – so she won’t carry on picking.

Kim says: “I am no super-thin Hollywood actress. I am built for men who like women to look like women.”
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