"Many Photos" - How do I leave my husband without unloading eight years of resentment?

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER eight years of walking on eggshells I’m struggling to keep up the front that I’m happily married to my husband and that life is OK.

He acts like he’s Victor Meldrew. He’s 44 and I’m 35. I want to move out but don’t know how to end things without being hurtful or cruel.

I really want to leave my husband

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It’s my second marriage and I have two little boys from my first. I’ve spent years trying to help my husband form a relationship with my boys but he complains if they even make a noise and we never do anything as a family.

We’ve nothing in common. He sighs if I talk when he’s watching TV.

He’s not a bad man and I know he loves me. He says lovely things but his actions and words don’t add up.

I can’t explain without cruelly unloading years of unspoken resentment.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I bet you have tried to explain how you feel but he hasn’t heard – and it’s suited him not to.

Maybe he has no idea how a good marriage works,  how to talk to a child or make you feel loved, but that isn’t your fault.

Tell him that unless he is ready to listen this time, and willing to change, then you’re ready to leave.

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