Look, the TBS marathon of A Christmas Story has already started. All of the major Christmas specials have already aired. And you’re probably sick of every version of A Christmas Carol at this point (except Scrooged, Scrooged is always good). So, why not put a little horror into the proceedings? We’re going to start light, but slowly move towards some of the darker ways to celebrate the holidays. And I guarantee that there’s one movie on this list you’ve probably never heard of (and should absolutely see).
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Hey, I said we’re starting light. There’s not really anything truly horrifying for adults to be found in The Nightmare Before Christmas, but its horror influences are endless. Almost every monster is a reference to classic Hollywood (or 1980s.creature features) and features some of the best stop-motion animation in the business.
That being said, Oogie Boogie’s final scene still kind of disturbs me. I’m not going to put it here in case you haven’t seen it, but all I’ll say is that if you don’t like bugs, you might have a harder time watching this than you’d think.
Gremlins
Yes, it’s technically a “PG” movie. However, this film, along with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, were responsible for the creation of the PG-13 rating, and that’s because this movie is out of its fucking mind. Shockingly violent and weirdly dark, Gremlins is also strangely sincere in its treatment of the holidays (that Santa story scene still fucks me up).
Coincidentally, the guy who wrote this, Chris Columbus, ended up directing Home Alone (he did not write Home Alone, John Hughes did). The John Hughes connection is worth mentioning because Columbus ended up directing Home Alone after he left National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation because Columbus constantly clashed with Chevy Chase. I guess Columbus can’t outrun Christmas movies, no matter what he does.
Krampus
Man, it feels like people really slept on this movie. It’s not perfect, but it’s a damn good monster movie made by people who wanted to warp the holiday spirit into literal weapons. There’s a Jack in the Box that eats children like a centipede. There’s a killer teddy bear. And the Krampus himself is beautifully realized, mostly in camera too.
If nothing else, watch the opening credits that act as a parody of Black Friday. It’s fucking hilarious. And I’ll also mention the guy who directed this, Michael Dougherty, is directing the upcoming Godzilla: King of the Monsters, so if you want to see what he was up to beforehand, check this one out.
Black Christmas (1974)
I put the year next to the title on this one because there’s a really bad remake from the 2000s and I’d hate for people to get mixed up. The original Black Christmas is one of the original slasher films, pre-dating Halloween by four years. It’s brutal for the time and bleak as hell, but the director of this bizarre horror item, Bob Clark, ended up making one of the most famous Christmas movies of all time.
Yep, I’m dead serious. He ended up directing A Christmas Story. It boggles my fucking mind that these two movies were made by the same person.
Visions of Sugar Plums (Tales From the Third Dimension)
This is going to get weird.
There’s a horror anthology film called Tales From the Third Dimension. It’s not particularly good (think of not-so-great version of Creepshow), and it only has three segments. But the third and final segment, Visions of Sugar Plums, is kind of fucking amazing and has to be seen to be believed.
The horror-comedy is about a pair of grand-kids that are visiting their wheelchair-bound grandmother in the middle of nowhere right before Christmas. Grandma is very sweet. That is until her meds run out and she starts to become increasingly insane. I won’t say too much about it, but the ending is batshit. I won’t spoil it here, but you can actually watch this segment on YouTube. If you have a bit over 30 minutes to kill, just sit through it. Trust me, the ending is worth it.
Silent Night, Deadly Night 2
Okay, unlike the other films on this list, this movie outright sucks. But the things that make it suck make it almost as entertaining as any movie on this list, and I guarantee you’ve at least seen one part of this movie out of context.
So, what the fuck does that have to do with Christmas? It’s hard to explain, but it’s connected. And also, normally you’d want to see the first movie so you can be familiar with the story, but don’t worry! Nearly the first half-hour of this movie is just re-cut footage from the first movie’s “best parts,” which was definitely not done because this movie was super low-budget and badly made at every turn.
If you’re into watching bad movies on purpose, you have to watch Silent Night, Deadly Night 2. It’s hilarious and occasionally lands on kills so ridiculously violent that they loop back around to being funny (there’s one involving an umbrella that makes me howl every time I see it).
The “holiday horror” genre is way WAY bigger than just these movies though, and I’m sure there are some personal favorites that I missed. But if you’re looking for some Christmas alternatives and you’ve exhausted the normal options, give at least one of these a shot.
Or just watch Bad Santa again. That movie fucking rules.
https://textbacklinkexchanges.com/put-some-horror-in-your-christmas-day-15-gifs-and-photos/
News Pictures Put some horror in your Christmas Day (15 GIFs and Photos)
You don’t have to pack away your bikini just because you’re the wrong side of 20. These body-beautiful stars reveal their secrets to staying in shape and prove you can smoulder in a two-piece, whatever your age. Read on and be bikini inspired!
TEENS
Hayden Panettiere
Size: 8
Age: 18
Height: 5ft 1in
Weight: 8st
To achieve her kick-ass figure, Hayden – who plays cheerleader Claire Bennet in Heroes – follows the ‘quartering’ rule. She eats only a quarter of the food on her plate, then waits 20 minutes before deciding whether she needs to eat again.
Hayden says: “I don’t have a model’s body, but I’m not one of those crazy girls who thinks that they’re fat. I’m OK with what I have.”
Nicollette says: “I don’t like diets – I see it, I eat it! I believe in eating healthily with lots of protein, vegetables and carbs to give you energy.”
kim cattrall
Size: 10-12
Age: 52
Height: 5ft 8in
Weight: 9st 4lb
SATC star Kim swears by gym sessions with Russian kettle bells (traditional cast-iron weights) and the South Beach Diet to give her the body she wants. To avoid overeating, Kim has a radical diet trick – squirting lemon juice on her leftovers – so she won’t carry on picking.
Kim says: “I am no super-thin Hollywood actress. I am built for men who like women to look like women.”
https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/CHorror1.gif?w=480
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