This may come as a shock to you, but there are dumb people in this world. I can see the comments already, and yes: I am dumb. But these people make me feel smarter than when I almost guess the Wheel of Fortune phrase correctly. Let’s pour some out for our dumb, dumb friends and enjoy the ride that is their logic.
I had an ex that thought all cats in existence were male because he had never seen a pregnant female cat or witnessed a cat birth. He just… thought they spawned at random points and set out into the world, I guess. Dude was truly, deeply stupid.
u/broffalosoldier
One time a customer asked me if we sold any unfrozen ice. I looked at him incredulous and when i saw he was serious i chuckled (was trying really hard not to burst out laughing) while asking “you mean water? It’s behind you” he goes “no no. Unfrozen ice!”
I stood there blankly looking at him. He gave an exasperated grunt and left. I laughed and was left wondering wtf he actually wanted.
u/inukuro
Had a childhood friend who had a big fish tank in his room. The water was low and he commented on how much water the fish were drinking. I said it was probably evaporating. He said “what’s that” so I explained the water cycle to him and he thought I was making the whole thing up.
I said where do you think rain comes from and he said “God makes it duh” (he was homeschooled) so I said where do you think water on the ground goes and he said it soaks into the ground. I said what about water puddles on pavement he said it soaks into the pavement.
He then continued to make fun of me for the rest of the day calling me stupid because I didn’t believe God made more rain every time it rained and thinking it “disappeared into the sky to make clouds”.
u/jakobdee
Watching clash of the titans and my ex said “lol imagine if scorpions were real” after a few minutes trying to convince her they are she followed up with “next you’ll tell me reindeer are real”
u/Dreviser
I once saw someone pour out a half full pot of coffee that was recently made because they said “it stops working after a half hour” …implying the caffeine evaporates after 30 minutes or something. I asked for clarification to make sure I didn’t misunderstand but they stood by their statement.
u/ebbtoflow
My brother recently started working out to work on his weight and health. When he told me that, I said, “If you really cared about your health, you’d stop smoking.” He replied seriously, “Smoking gives my lungs exercise.” He wasn’t even joking.
u/wynteral
“He died of natural causes”
“Like a bear or something?”
u/Chode_Life
“He died of natural causes? Well he got shot in the face with a bazooka… So naturally he’d be dead.” – Brian Regan
My friend said we should do the human centipede (she thought it was a dance move).
u/joolsss_
One of my friends believed that if someone who was paralyzed was thrown off a tower, they would survive…
u/marcin5_
I once got a cool tooth brush when i was little and i asked with big exited eyes, “is it waterproof?” , and after they said yes i ran to the bathroom and ran it under the tap repeatedly in amazement…
u/Aaron_mcc
I was once asked if I was Chinese or Asian. And then when they realized their error, asked if I was Korean or Asian.
u/hokstr88
“If you touch someone with Hepatitis C you’ll get it, just like when you touch someone with Diabetes.”
u/cittloooli
I was on the school bus one day and this girl saw my yarmulke and asked
“OMG, are you british?!?!?!”
and I said “…no…I’m jewish”
and she said “ugh, same shit”
I still think about that to this day
u/issafacade
Looking at the nutrition facts of a salt shaker “Oh my gosh! Salt has a lot of sodium in it!!”
u/liefarikson
“A lunar eclipse is impossible because the sun can never get between the earth and the moon.”
Well the latter is correct but…
u/beesterd
“Is there a different sun for each state?” My sisters dance teacher.
u/KVM14
My first grade teacher and I got into an argument if hummingbirds actually existed. I said they did, she said they didn’t. I went home crying to my mom about it.
Next parent-teacher conference my mom was like, “Oh and by the way, hummingbirds are real. So don’t tell my daughter they aren’t anymore.”
u/Hufflepuff20
My former roommate used to date based on, um, factors other than book smarts. One chick, they went to the planetarium and there was a scale model of the moon, and she asked something about how it turns off when the sun comes up.
Another girl, over dinner we were talking about something and I mentioned that the sun is bigger than the earth, and she refused to believe it. Her response, word for word, was “I took an astronomy class in college, i think they would have mentioned that… I mean I got a C, but still.”
Bless his heart, his response was “This has nothing to do with horoscopes babe”
u/Kaneshadow
“I don’t believe in dolphins.”
Her reasoning? She had never seen one in the flesh.
u/Red4pex
“Are the moon and the sun the same thing?” My 26yr old co-worker.
u/thebubbleswumbo
I’m an identical twin, and I once had someone seriously ask me if I ever forget which twin I am.
No, I do not sometimes think I am my brother.
u/Rottenox
https://textbacklinkexchanges.com/the-dumbest-things-people-ever-heard-make-me-feel-like-a-genius-22-photos/
News Photo The dumbest things people ever heard make me feel like a genius (22 Photos)
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