New photo ER workers dish on the most bizarre sex/masturbation injuries they can’t unsee [NSFW]

“Not an ED worker but an ambulance dispatcher. We had a call for a lady that had a seizure during sex. The first responder arrived and very quickly stood down all backup. Turns out she had, in fact, had her first orgasm. That one always made me chuckle.”

Travillick

_____

“I’ve told this before. Not an ER worker, but a former 911 dispatcher who took a call from an ER surgeon.

Guy went into the ER because he had a large dildo crammed up his ass and he couldn’t get it out. During the surgery, the dildo cracked open, revealing a whole mess of meth inside.

Guy had put it in the dildo to smuggle it, then couldn’t get it out. Had left it in for days before deciding to come in.”

Antyok

GIF

“Drain Cleaner.

Some dipshit kid heard from his ‘buddy’ that if you don’t have a condom, you can just pour some drain cleaner on the woman bits and go to town. It will kill the sperm so you’re safe.

His dick had all kinds of chemical burns and she had to be treated majorly for internal issues as well as external issues. The families hated each other and started getting into physical altercations in the ER as well, eventually separated to opposite ends of the ER but continued to verbally berate each other.

Drain cleaner – if you’re a teenager reading this: DO NOT BE SO FUCKING STUPID.”

TheOtherDanielFromSL

“Young guy in jail had his buddies help him slice open the skin on the top of his penis, insert a die (dice?), and close it back up. The point was so it could give sexual satisfaction to a female partner. He came in after being released with a very red and infected penis. Why he thought about doing it in jail and getting help to do it was beyond me.”

coffeecatsyarn

GIF

“Muscular, good looking guy with cut off sleeves and leather chaps comes in. He lives about 45+ mins away and comes to us because he didn’t want to be seen in his local hospital by someone he may know. Turns out he has a corn cob stuck up his ass and can’t get it out. The best part is, he’s a motorcycle guy and rode all that way in on his Harley.”

Indeface

“Was working the triage area (where you’re initially assessed by a nurse, vitals at updating health history) a 40 something lady came into the room and I asked what she is needing to be seen for today. Her bluntness shocked me when she said, “there’s a vibrator stuck in my ass.”

For what it was she was very calm and collected. After asking other necessary questions I told her I had to ask for my own personal curiosity if it was still on to which she replied, “I think it’s starting to die.””

helpisonthewayRN

_____

“Two oranges in the butthole of a 20 year old female just stuck inside”

Blue_Lemos

Advertisement

Advertisement

GIF

“We have a sweet old man who is known in the ER as “Peanut Butter Jar in the Ass Man.” Every few weeks to months he comes in for any random thing….belly ache, flu, dizziness, you name it. There is a standing order that he gets a scan every time because there is a 100% chance there is a jar of peanut butter in his ass, and it saves a whole lot of time and BSing. I think he likes to get “caught.”

ImAMermaidAMA

“Lots of vibrators in asses.

A guy came in with his two girlfriends after getting priapism (an erection that won’t go away, extremely painful and could cause you to lose your penis) after doing inhaled nitrous and viagra during his 3-way. The treatment for that involves two 18 gauge needles jammed into the base of the shaft and aspirating the blood out manually. His 2 girlfriends wouldn’t stop making out with each other and him during the procedure. It’s like “bruh, you want this to go away or not?”

Several guys have come in after doing GHB, drinking, and having sketchy relations at the local porn stores with private booths. They pass out, become totally obtunded for 4-5 hours then wake up and wonder what the hell happened. Ag good way to get HIV or Hep C.

One guy on meth was found masturbating in a parking garage. Police were called and he was brought in by EMS for altered mental status and groin pain. He said he had been jerking off compulsively for 6 hours. His penis looked like raw hamburger. He said, “I just couldn’t stop”.

Don’t do meth, kids.”

blitzwit143

GIF

“Teenage girl came in for very heavy vaginal bleeding after losing her virginity. Turns out she essentially had two vaginas, a condition called a transverse vaginal septum, and the wall separating her two canals was ruptured during intercourse.”

azncheesecake

_____

“My friend’s boyfriend was an imaging technician (don’t know the actual term). He once saw an elderly lady with the hand from a plastic Halloween skeleton lodged in her vagina.”

TGSWithTracyJordan

“My friend was an orderly. A young lady has surgery and basically needs stitches for her vagina. She comes back twice. Idiot husband will not take no for an answer and keeps tearing the stitches out.

Doctor switches to staples. Idiot husband ends up in hospital.”

Flintoid

_____

“My colleague nurse told me a story about a guy who couldn’t last long, and he came up with the idea to put lidocaine gel (topical anesthetic) on his dick to make it numb for a while. His girlfriend gave him head and her mouth became numb and tongue paralyzed, she got really scared and rushed to ER… they suspected on some kind of stroke, did multiple tests, CT and MRI scan, she spends an entire week in the hospital because they couldn’t find an explanation of what happened.

I don’t know at which point her boyfriend confessed what he did, but it was after she left the hospital. I still can’t decide what was worse: his idea or level of communication between them.”

ASilentMeow

GIF

“Not an ER nurse but work med surg. My favorite was a gentleman in his late 40s just out of rehab. He and his girlfriend had finally been able to do the deed after his release. He had cellulitis (skin infection) in his penis, scrotum and all the areas around it.

Everything was swollen three times normal size. When I asked him what was going on he told me he was wearing a metal cock ring and right before he comes he likes his girlfriend to “jam that cock ring down harder” And that’s how he ended up septic with a fever of 104 and balls the size of a cantaloupe.”

Hecalledtheshitpoop1

Advertisement

Advertisement

“Med student here: Not crazy, but all men should be very very concerned with an erection lasting longer than four hours. Hint: it involves a giant fucking needle.”

DemNeurons

_____

“First of all, sorry for my English.

Not me but an aunt who’s a vascular surgeon. One guy came to ER with his dick partially chopped off and his girlfriend with a 2° grade burn on her back. Apparently, while he was cooking, the girlfriend had the idea of giving him a blow job. At the moment of cum he had his hand on the pan’s handle and some oil was spilled on her back, with the natural reaction of closing her mouth because of the pain…

You can imagine the rest.”

HumaDracobane

GIF

“EMT here: responded to a guy that used an aluminum wire as a cock ring and left it on for about a month before he decided it was infected. A few hours later when we brought in our next patient to the ER, the ER team notified us that his X-ray showed nails down his pee hole.

Another call I responded to was a guy that had a mason jar stuck up his ass. Again the ER team told us that wasn’t his first rodeo. He ended up having to have emergency surgery and a colostomy bag.”

lpzm08

_____

“A friend of mine would do about 4 hookers a night on his day off. After less than a year of this, an STD swelled his testicles to the size of a watermelon. He was in the hospital for a week or two and is fine now. This all happened recently, so just a matter of time before he goes back to his hookers.”

the_shit_disturber

“Baby chipmunk stuck in a man’s rectum. I didn’t work in ER- this was a guy who was on my caseload when I was a case manager.

P.S. The chipmunk survived.”

aryamad1322

GIF

“Had an 80-year-old man come in with swollen balls and some mild tenderness. Denied any injuries. Then the wife fesses up and says that 3 days ago while he was sleeping she put a knitting needle up his penis to make it rigid enough sex. 3 days earlier, while he was sleeping, and he didn’t even notice until he got worried about swollen balls?!

Took an x-ray and there it was hidden away — a 9-inch knitting needle.”

angrynakedant

_____

“Former police officer colleague told me about a call out for a deceased man. It appeared he had been doing chin-ups using a chin-up bar in a doorway…with a broom pole up his rear. The chin-up bar failed and the broom pole skewered him, emerging between his neck and shoulder on one side.”

-Dansplaining-

Why funny? Because individuals imagine in the truthfulness of funny data. People Read newspaper for up to date information which they will’t get as a result of busy life fashion and extra for the new product provide, new schemes provided by close by distributors. Most of the individuals choose information picture paper to get new product data and good shopping for alternative and likewise for information replace. Most of the Business group used this media to advertise their product or providers as a result of funny pic are cheap promoting medium which covers quite a lot of clients shortly and having good impression on the buyer relating to truthfulness which supplies them good returns. It’s additionally a great way to share the announcement which spreads shortly to need a part of society.Link
https://textbacklinkexchanges.com/er-workers-dish-on-the-most-bizarre-sex-masturbation-injuries-they-cant-unsee-nsfw/
News Pictures ER workers dish on the most bizarre sex/masturbation injuries they can’t unsee [NSFW]

You don’t have to pack away your bikini just because you’re the wrong side of 20. These body-beautiful stars reveal their secrets to staying in shape and prove you can smoulder in a two-piece, whatever your age. Read on and be bikini inspired!

TEENS
Hayden Panettiere
Size: 8
Age: 18
Height: 5ft 1in
Weight: 8st

To achieve her kick-ass figure, Hayden – who plays cheerleader Claire Bennet in Heroes – follows the ‘quartering’ rule. She eats only a quarter of the food on her plate, then waits 20 minutes before deciding whether she needs to eat again.

Hayden says: “I don’t have a model’s body, but I’m not one of those crazy girls who thinks that they’re fat. I’m OK with what I have.”

Nicollette says: “I don’t like diets – I see it, I eat it! I believe in eating healthily with lots of protein, vegetables and carbs to give you energy.”

kim cattrall

Size: 10-12
Age: 52
Height: 5ft 8in
Weight: 9st 4lb

SATC star Kim swears by gym sessions with Russian kettle bells (traditional cast-iron weights) and the South Beach Diet to give her the body she wants. To avoid overeating, Kim has a radical diet trick – squirting lemon juice on her leftovers – so she won’t carry on picking.

Kim says: “I am no super-thin Hollywood actress. I am built for men who like women to look like women.”
https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2019/01/er-workers-dish-on-the-most-bizarre-sex-masturbation-injuries-theyve-ever-seen-nsfw-2.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600