TEXTSPEAK is now so bewildering that a court has had to step in to rule that an “x” at the end of a message is not flirtatious.
Luckily, Lynsey Clarke is here to help with other messaging dilemmas.
A colleague you fancy has signed off a work email with a kiss. Are you in there?
Whoa there, Casanova. Gone are the days when kisses were reserved for letters between star-crossed lovers, as the ruling at the Family Court by Judge Farooq Ahmed proves. Wait for the aubergine emoji before getting excited.
You’ve texted but have had no reply. Should you follow up on social media?
Nothing screams desperate more than the multiple-platform messenger.
Never follow a text with WhatsApp, email or by climbing into someone’s DMs (direct messages, if you’re really behind the times).
This person is either busy or not worth the energy.
When, if ever, should you “send to all”?
Know your audience. Your nan might not appreciate the LadBible video of a chubby American kid smashing a watermelon over his head, nor will your boss see the humour in a quip about the measly annual staff bonus.
What it means...
TB = Text Back
BW = Best Wishes
BRB = Be Right Back
LOL = Laugh Out Loud
Lit = fun/exciting
Dying = can’t stop laughing
Yas = exclamation of delight
Should you ever DM, then dial?
Getting a response to a direct message, email or text does not give the green light for you to phone for a chinwag.
An even more unforgivable offence is to orbit WhatsApp until your target is online then call them – that’s just creepy.
Is it OK to call strangers “lovely” on email?
Unless you want to be reported as spam, absolutely not.
Nor is it OK to spell their name incorrectly or make passive-aggressive jibes about how they never reply.
Your eyesight isn’t what it once was – should you use predictive text?
If a normal response to your messages is “Pardon?”, turn off autocorrect.
Your boss probably would not like you to “poop” over to “sleep” with her (read “pop” and “speak”).
MOST READ IN FABULOUS
Do emojis speak louder than words?
No. If you have lost the ability to express your feelings without using an emoticon, it is time to go on an emoji-detox.
And if you have already downloaded Kim Kardashian’s Kimoji app, you are beyond help.
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https://textbacklinkexchanges.com/seven-popular-messaging-dilemmas-solved-from-send-to-all-to-signing-off-with-an-x/
News Pictures Seven popular messaging dilemmas solved from ‘send to all’ to signing off with an X
You don’t have to pack away your bikini just because you’re the wrong side of 20. These body-beautiful stars reveal their secrets to staying in shape and prove you can smoulder in a two-piece, whatever your age. Read on and be bikini inspired!
TEENS
Hayden Panettiere
Size: 8
Age: 18
Height: 5ft 1in
Weight: 8st
To achieve her kick-ass figure, Hayden – who plays cheerleader Claire Bennet in Heroes – follows the ‘quartering’ rule. She eats only a quarter of the food on her plate, then waits 20 minutes before deciding whether she needs to eat again.
Hayden says: “I don’t have a model’s body, but I’m not one of those crazy girls who thinks that they’re fat. I’m OK with what I have.”
Nicollette says: “I don’t like diets – I see it, I eat it! I believe in eating healthily with lots of protein, vegetables and carbs to give you energy.”
kim cattrall
Size: 10-12
Age: 52
Height: 5ft 8in
Weight: 9st 4lb
SATC star Kim swears by gym sessions with Russian kettle bells (traditional cast-iron weights) and the South Beach Diet to give her the body she wants. To avoid overeating, Kim has a radical diet trick – squirting lemon juice on her leftovers – so she won’t carry on picking.
Kim says: “I am no super-thin Hollywood actress. I am built for men who like women to look like women.”
https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/NINTCHDBPICT000461729881.jpg?strip=all&w=960
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