DEAR DEIDRE: I AM feeling bad because I had sex with a guy who chatted me up at the charity shop where I work once a week.
I’m a pushover for any man showing me a bit of attention and expecting it to lead to sex.
I am 36 and my husband is 37. We have a boy of eight. I work and care for our son and my husband as well.
Three years ago he was diagnosed with back problems and, despite two operations, is more or less an invalid.
My life is pretty full but I so miss feeling loved. I also miss the sex that should go with it.
The first of the men I’ve cheated with was someone I was at school with, who I bumped into not long after I became my husband’s carer. He had grown into an attractive man.
We chatted in the street but it started to rain and he suggested we talk over a coffee. He told me he was divorced and missed having a woman to be close to. He also said I am amazingly attractive and I just melted.
I had forgotten how much it meant to be appreciated.
We swapped mobile numbers and he suggested our next coffee and chat should be at his flat.
The day soon came round and the coffee turned into a glass of wine then wonderful sex.
This happened several times before I found out he had been seeing someone else — which I rumbled when I saw her jacket at his place. I told him what I thought of him and left.
I yearned for attention and it wasn’t long before I had another guy in my life and even better sex. He isn’t reliable so I find myself seeing other men too — like the one who came into the shop last week.
He asked me out for a drink and we ended up having sex at his place.
I feel bad about the sex but it is the closeness I miss.
I want to be a wife and a lover, not just a carer. I always regret it after I have cheated but it doesn’t stop me doing it.
I hate myself but I don’t have the courage to resist when someone is nice to me.
Topic of the day
THREE out of five couples are less than satisfied with their sexual relationship, and often it is just down to lazy habits.
My e-leaflet How To Have Great Sex is a simple guide to getting the basics right. Email problems@deardeidre.org or private message me on my Dear Deidre Facebook page.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband will be missing the closeness too.
If he’s not showing it, I’d guess that’s because he feels depressed and useless – especially if he suspects what you are getting up to.
But you can still kiss and cuddle and there is still lots you could enjoy together sexually.
A sex life does not have to involve energetic intercourse. There are all sorts of ways you can share sexual pleasure.
POPULAR DEAR DEIDRE PROBLEMS
Talk to your husband. Tell him how much you care for him and explain how you miss the physical closeness you and he used to have.
You can find practical advice through the Outsiders sex and disability helpline on 07770 884 985, or email sexdis@Outsiders.org.uk.
If he shrugs you off, insist he sees his GP because he is probably suffering from depression.
READ TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE My good friend tried to take his own life recently and I’m struggling with how to help
READ TODAY’S DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Mia finds out her toxic and abusive ex Callum is back with Rosa
Get in touch with Deidre today
Got a problem? Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.
https://textbacklinkexchanges.com/i-care-for-my-husband-after-his-operations-but-have-sex-with-others-because-i-miss-feeling-loved/
News Pictures I care for my husband after his operations but have sex with others because I miss feeling loved
You don’t have to pack away your bikini just because you’re the wrong side of 20. These body-beautiful stars reveal their secrets to staying in shape and prove you can smoulder in a two-piece, whatever your age. Read on and be bikini inspired!
TEENS
Hayden Panettiere
Size: 8
Age: 18
Height: 5ft 1in
Weight: 8st
To achieve her kick-ass figure, Hayden – who plays cheerleader Claire Bennet in Heroes – follows the ‘quartering’ rule. She eats only a quarter of the food on her plate, then waits 20 minutes before deciding whether she needs to eat again.
Hayden says: “I don’t have a model’s body, but I’m not one of those crazy girls who thinks that they’re fat. I’m OK with what I have.”
Nicollette says: “I don’t like diets – I see it, I eat it! I believe in eating healthily with lots of protein, vegetables and carbs to give you energy.”
kim cattrall
Size: 10-12
Age: 52
Height: 5ft 8in
Weight: 9st 4lb
SATC star Kim swears by gym sessions with Russian kettle bells (traditional cast-iron weights) and the South Beach Diet to give her the body she wants. To avoid overeating, Kim has a radical diet trick – squirting lemon juice on her leftovers – so she won’t carry on picking.
Kim says: “I am no super-thin Hollywood actress. I am built for men who like women to look like women.”
https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/NINTCHDBPICT000459795519.jpg?strip=all&w=960
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