SOME parents look forward to it for years – the moment their kids grow up, the house gets empty and they can finally kick back and relax.
But for others, the empty nest needs to be filled.
Earlier this month chef Gordon Ramsay, 52, and wife Tana, 44, announced they are expecting their fifth child – 17 years after the birth of their last. They are already parents to Megan, 21, twins Jack and Holly, 19, and daughter Matilda, 17.
But they are far from alone in wanting one last push at parenthood.
We meet three women who felt a void when their kids grew up – so decided to have another child.
‘I missed the daily chaos’
MUM-OF-THREE Michelle Mander admits she panicked when her children grew up. The 40-year-old stay-at-home mother from Crawley, East Sussex – who has son Billy, 21, and daughters Martine, 20, and nine-year-old Elisa-May – says she felt an overwhelming urge to have another baby 12 years after her last. But she warns the Ramsays that it wasn’t as straightforward as she hoped. She says:
“I always wanted a big family. I had Billy when I was 19 with my then-husband Roy and just loved being a mum.
“Martine came along 11 months later and, while some would say I was mad, I couldn’t get enough.
“At times it was tough. I was juggling work, babies and a marriage while most of my friends partied, but it was worth it.
“We were all very close and did everything together, so when Billy and Martine started secondary school in close succession, the days at home felt strange on my own.
“They were independent teenagers and wanted to spend time with their friends rather than just the family. The older they got, the more I felt they didn’t rely on me as much.
“I started to feel lonely and grieved the rhythm of having little ones, taking them to nursery, helping them with their primary school homework and preparing them for their teenage years.
“Most of my friends told me I was lucky to have more free time – as did my husband – so I tried to embrace it.
“I tried joining a gym, going out with friends and working longer hours as a shop assistant, but nothing stopped me wanting to fill the void.
“When I was 29, ten years after first becoming a mum, I told my husband I wanted another baby.
“He wasn’t convinced. Like my friends, he was enjoying his freedom from nappies.
“But I eventually ground him down and Elisa-May came along on November 11, 2009.
“I felt an itch had been scratched and initially it brought us closer. I was less stressed about looking after a newborn and got back into the routine of sleepless nights.
“But as the months went on my husband struggled. He felt all his independence had been taken away again and all my attention was on the baby.
“Within two years, our marriage fell apart. He’s still very much in all our children’s lives but our relationship couldn’t hack the new pressures.
“Billy and Martine love spending time with Elisa but their relationship is more like auntie and uncle than siblings.
“I wouldn’t change anything. Having Elisa-May was something I needed in my life and, now I have a new partner, there is a chance of more.”
‘Second brood made me feel young and confident’
SCHOOL finance administrator Laura Atkinson, 46, only planned to have two children. But as Georgia, now 20, and Tom, now 19, grew up, she and building project manager husband Stephen, 50, changed their minds. They now have a “second batch” of kids – Joe, ten, and Amelia, seven. Laura, of Dinas Powys in South Wales, says:
“I married Stephen when I was 21 and we had our first child Georgia three years later.
“Our son Tom came along a year later and we thought two was the perfect number.
“Most of our friends had two kids and, as they grew up, we all started talking about the couple’s holidays we would take once the kids were old enough. But the thought of free time seemed odd without the children in the picture, too.
“I’d look at photos of old family holidays and remember the bickering over who sat next to Mum on the plane and hated that that time was over.
“I didn’t want to come home to an empty house after work, but assumed that ten years on, more kids wasn’t an option. We’d sold all the baby things, but Stephen loved the idea of having more children. Friends thought I’d lost the plot but when I became pregnant with Joe, I was over the moon.
“Before I had been a “young mum”, this time I was a “late in life mum”. It was so much easier than the first time as we knew the ropes.
“The older kids loved having a baby brother and I found myself with two helpers.
“After a year of being new parents we decided to add to “batch two” as we called it, and Amelia was born in 2011.
“I waved Georgia off to university as I took Amelia to start reception.
“I felt old when I saw the other 20-something mums but I felt so confident and happy rather than full of nerves like the first time round.
“Filling the nest again hasn’t made me feel old – it’s made me feel younger and rejuvenated.”
‘Mum thought we were mad’
SOMETHING was missing from Violet Butler’s life after going a decade without having a child. The stay-at-home mum, 43, lives in Shepherd’s Bush, South West London, with Tony, 45, a construction worker, and their three sons Patrick, 14, Callum, 12, and two-year-old Matthew. Violet says:
“Tony and I met 17 years ago and, at first, we didn’t talk about starting a family.
“I became pregnant by accident a year later but had a miscarriage. It was a sad time but it made us realise that we wanted to have children together.
“Patrick arrived two years later in 2004, then we talked about having another. Callum came along next and we were overjoyed.
“Our thirties went by so fast – with us both busy working full-time, while raising our beautiful family. We loved having a busy house and lots to do.
“Four years ago, we moved for the first time and, when we did, it felt strangely like something was missing from our lives.
“It was the trigger for me.
“I suddenly wanted another baby to bring up in our new home.
“I think it dawned on me that the boys would move out in a few years and our family time would be over.
“Tony agreed and we decided to try for another baby.
“Secretly we wanted a little girl.
“But when I became pregnant and fate decided that we were having a boy, we didn’t care, we were just so pleased to be expecting again.
“I waited until the first trimester had passed before telling anyone. because I was aware I was older.
“While friends are happy for us, my mum thought we were mad having another baby in our forties.
“We didn’t speak for a couple of weeks because she told me I was too old to have another child, and that we should be doing other things with our lives.
“But it really was the best decision we’ve ever made.
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“It was weird expecting again a decade after having my last one but my body remembered everything.
“The boys were really involved throughout the nine months and have never been jealous since Matthew came along.
“I think I’m a better mum in my forties as I’ve got more patience and I’m more confident. Matthew has changed our lives. We’re closer as a family.”
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News Pictures Three women explain the urge to have more babies after their kids grew up, just like Gordon Ramsay and wife Tana did
You don’t have to pack away your bikini just because you’re the wrong side of 20. These body-beautiful stars reveal their secrets to staying in shape and prove you can smoulder in a two-piece, whatever your age. Read on and be bikini inspired!
TEENS
Hayden Panettiere
Size: 8
Age: 18
Height: 5ft 1in
Weight: 8st
To achieve her kick-ass figure, Hayden – who plays cheerleader Claire Bennet in Heroes – follows the ‘quartering’ rule. She eats only a quarter of the food on her plate, then waits 20 minutes before deciding whether she needs to eat again.
Hayden says: “I don’t have a model’s body, but I’m not one of those crazy girls who thinks that they’re fat. I’m OK with what I have.”
Nicollette says: “I don’t like diets – I see it, I eat it! I believe in eating healthily with lots of protein, vegetables and carbs to give you energy.”
kim cattrall
Size: 10-12
Age: 52
Height: 5ft 8in
Weight: 9st 4lb
SATC star Kim swears by gym sessions with Russian kettle bells (traditional cast-iron weights) and the South Beach Diet to give her the body she wants. To avoid overeating, Kim has a radical diet trick – squirting lemon juice on her leftovers – so she won’t carry on picking.
Kim says: “I am no super-thin Hollywood actress. I am built for men who like women to look like women.”
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