New photo I’m afraid of having sex with an old flame after flopping in bed last time we met

DEAR DEIDRE: IT took less than a week to end up in bed with an old flame I ran into while Christmas shopping. But in the bedroom I was useless.

We first met at work ten years ago and were attracted to each other straight away, flirting a lot.

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When we were sneaking around, the sex we had was intense[/caption]

I was 21 and single then, while she was 22 and married. She told me she had got married at 18 and sometimes regretted it. We had a lot in common and the same sense of humour.

One thing led to another and we started an affair. The sex was incredible. Her husband worked shifts and it was easy to keep it secret from him.

Then a colleague guessed what was going on and said something to his wife. She knew my lover’s mother and told her.

My lover got a lot of pressure from her family and in the end she said our affair had to stop.

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I was gutted when she said we couldn’t go on but I understood[/caption]

I was devastated but also knew she was right. I couldn’t bear to carry on working there with her, so I left the company and moved away. I got on with my life and had relationships with other women but I never forgot her.

I got a great new job and moved back to the area last month. I bumped into my first love in a supermarket. We got chatting and went for coffee together.

She told me her husband had left her two months ago for another woman. We have been messaging and seeing each other since.

We booked a hotel room and had sex last week. The build-up was amazing but I let her down. I could keep my erection but I could not climax.

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She said it was no big deal, but I don’t want the same thing to happen again[/caption]

I had to give up in the end. She was great about it and says that we have plenty of time and we will sort it out. But I worry it will keep happening.

I used a condom and wonder if that was the problem. Was I just nervous? She wants to see me again and I don’t want this to ruin things for us.

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ONE in five of us suffers from depression at some point. It is a debilitating illness, not just feeling unhappy.

My leaflet on Defeating Depression gives sources of help.

Email problems@deardeidre.org or private-message me on my Dear Deidre Facebook page.

DEIDRE SAYS: If you have not had this problem with other women, it could be simple anxiety to get things right with this woman you have never forgotten. Or could it be guilt?

You say you were single when you were 21. Are you still single or does seeing your old flame involve cheating on your wife?

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If you are cheating, of course you should stop this fling and sort out your marriage one way or the other.

If it is just nerves because this woman is so special to you, check out a different type of condom. Ultra-sensitive condoms can increase sensation – but be sure they have the quality Kitemark.

Self-help sex therapy is explained in my e-leaflet Find It Hard To Climax? but be aware she may be on the rebound if her marriage broke up as recently as two months ago.

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NEXT IN TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE I discovered hubby’s secret cocaine addiction, but I don’t think I can stop him

READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Melissa hates having to work on New Year’s Eve while her boyfriend parties

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Got a problem? Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

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News Pictures I’m afraid of having sex with an old flame after flopping in bed last time we met

You don’t have to pack away your bikini just because you’re the wrong side of 20. These body-beautiful stars reveal their secrets to staying in shape and prove you can smoulder in a two-piece, whatever your age. Read on and be bikini inspired!

TEENS
Hayden Panettiere
Size: 8
Age: 18
Height: 5ft 1in
Weight: 8st

To achieve her kick-ass figure, Hayden – who plays cheerleader Claire Bennet in Heroes – follows the ‘quartering’ rule. She eats only a quarter of the food on her plate, then waits 20 minutes before deciding whether she needs to eat again.

Hayden says: “I don’t have a model’s body, but I’m not one of those crazy girls who thinks that they’re fat. I’m OK with what I have.”

Nicollette says: “I don’t like diets – I see it, I eat it! I believe in eating healthily with lots of protein, vegetables and carbs to give you energy.”

kim cattrall

Size: 10-12
Age: 52
Height: 5ft 8in
Weight: 9st 4lb

SATC star Kim swears by gym sessions with Russian kettle bells (traditional cast-iron weights) and the South Beach Diet to give her the body she wants. To avoid overeating, Kim has a radical diet trick – squirting lemon juice on her leftovers – so she won’t carry on picking.

Kim says: “I am no super-thin Hollywood actress. I am built for men who like women to look like women.”
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