I’M crawling through a giant pair of female legs and the rudest door I’ve ever seen into a 5ft-high tunnel lined with plastic breasts.
I emerge blinking into a darkened cinema, where randy revellers are entwined on the floor in a variety of positions.
Seventies porn blasts from a giant screen before cutting to, bizarrely, a nature documentary featuring late Aussie crocodile hunter Steve Irwin.
I feel like Alice In Bonking-land as I take in the unfolding debauchery.
Welcome to Stoketoberfest, an unofficial and very naughty offshoot of Munich’s famous Oktoberfest, which makes the annual booze marathon look like a children’s tea party.
This secret festival, where revellers heartily embrace the instruction to “leave their inhibitions at the door”, has proved a hit with Brits who are flocking to Bavaria’s capital for the three-week Oktoberfest, which ends in six days’ time.
Mancunian visitor Dan, 27, tells me: “I arrived last night and have already slept with five girls.
“I was meant to go to Oktoberfest, but what’s the point when it’s far more fun here?”
I had come to Munich to investigate Oktoberfest after hearing that locals were upset with the low-cut Bavarian “barmaid” outfits favoured by female British revellers.
They made the traditional costume — known as a dirndl — look like a “porno dress”, complained 70-year-old resident Franz Thalhammer.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Within minutes of turning up at the vast Oktoberfest hall, my frock was mocked for not being “busty enough”.
Munich local Lina, 30, tells me: “We do cars and bras better”, as she insists I swap my UK fancy dress for an authentic 200 euro (£178) dirndl, an outfit featuring what she describes as “the German version of a Wonderbra”.
The bra packs more punch than boxing champ Anthony Joshua and I feel like a knockout as the super-tight material boosts me from a modest C cup to a voluptuous E.
Inside the beer halls Brits are standing on wooden benches and cheering each other to down steins, equivalent to two pints of ale.
If you fail, the crowd boos and lobs pretzels at you.
Nearby, a twentysomething brunette is cutting up some suspicious-looking white powder with her British driving licence, then snorting the lines.
But if I thought today could not get any more debaucherous I was wrong.
“This isn’t the real party,” whispers Matt, 26, a salesman from Nottingham. “This is just the warm up.”
That’s how I find myself on the short drive to Stoketoberfest, where skimpy outfits are the least of anyone’s concerns.
Matt had warned me I needed to “see it to believe it”. He was right.
At the Wheel Of Misfortune, drinkers are playing a wild game of dares, with the giant roulette wheel choosing forfeits such as swapping clothes, throwing your undies into a tree, running naked and doing a shoey (drinking a stein from your shoe).
Right now, a 26-year-old guy called Ben from Leeds is spinning it. The arrow lands on “give us your undies” so he strips off and throws his boxers into the tree above — where hundreds of other pairs already hang.
“This place is wild,” Ben says, as he tries to put his clothes back on.
“I’ve never been to a party like this. I’m sharing a tent with a randomer but he wasn’t very happy when he returned and I was having sex with a girl in there.”
Ben disappears into the darkness and more festival-goers board the steps to take their turn at the wheel. Two girls land on “running naked” so they strip off and race screaming through the crowd.
Meanwhile, revellers dancing in front of the main stage are going wild as the DJ blasts out Renegade Master and people start throwing beer over each other.
Around the corner, there’s a long queue for the “super secret” party.
You need a special ticket to enter and it feels like a scene from the erotic Nineties film Eyes Wide Shut as you’re handed a masquerade mask on arrival.
Inside, a girl is guzzling beer through a long tube cheered on by revellers.
Half-naked fire breathers are performing risqué tricks while naughty guests writhe on the ground. Naked mannequins loom in the corners of the room.
Nearby, young couples are piling into the “kissing booth”. It’s not just for kissing on the lips,” giggles one girl, as she drags a guy towards it.
She tells me her name is Amy and she is a 22-year-old film student from Kent. “I was meant to go to Oktoberfest but I didn’t make it,” she adds, laughing.
“We started drinking here at 8am and everyone is saying here is so much better than the actual event.”
The guy she is snogging chips in: “It’s all beer, boobs, and bonking here — what’s not to love?”
It is easy to see why Brits are flocking to the alternative festival.
For just 60 euros (£53) a night you arrive to your pre-erected tent and for ten euros a day you get unlimited beer, sangria and food.
People start queuing for booze from 8am.
At Oktoberfest you’re looking at 12 euros a stein and at least £350 a night for a hotel room in Munich. The event is run by Stoke Travel, an alternative festival company based in Barcelona.
On site, there’s a fancy dress shop selling Bavarian outfits for just 70 euros. You’re also treated to live bands, glitter painting, a tattoo parlour, several bars and a shisha lounge.
Back to tonight, and by 3am it is raining hard.
But nothing is going to stop these frisky festival-goers from getting their kicks.
More than 2,000 tents are rocking and, in free-love style, most tenants have left the canvas wide open.
“We didn’t quite make it to Oktoberfest,” giggles a pretty brunette, who’s sandwiched between two handsome guys — all three naked after having a threesome.
“We’ve only left the tent to top up on beer,” she continues, before turning and kissing the boys.
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Fearing they’ll ask me to join in any second, I scuttle off — and soon pass another couple getting steamy in the back seat of a car. They laugh as they see me walking past, seemingly enjoying an audience.
Terrified of what I’ll see next, I leave. The next morning, I wake in my peaceful hotel room and ponder if I dreamt the whole thing.
I wonder if the locals who moaned about saucy Oktoberfest outfits know what’s going on just down the road. For the sake of their blood pressure, I hope not.
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Link
https://textbacklinkexchanges.com/inside-munichs-adults-only-octoberfest-party-with-beer-boobs-and-bonking-where-naked-revellers-enjoy-wild-sex-games/
News Pictures Inside Munich’s adults-only Octoberfest party — with beer, boobs and bonking where naked revellers’ enjoy wild sex games
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