It’s a classic scenario. You see a crush. You feel the need to impress them immediately. And you fuck up immediately.
And if this wording is vague, it’s because this literally applies to everyone that walks the earth (but let’s be honest, most of these stories about guys), so learn from these mistakes of not impressing anyone in the name of love (and if I’ve really learned anything putting this together, only do a backflip if you’re absolutely fucking sure you can pull it off).
When I was 15, I dropped a heavy book on my head. It was this old dictionary: a single volume that was easily 8” thick and probably weighed 15 lbs. I laid down on the floor, held it over my head with my arms fully extended, and dropped it the foot and a half right onto my forehead. I guess I though it would show how tough I was? I was not tough. It sorta worked because I dated her until freshman year of college. But that was likely in spite of my actions and not because of them.
raymond1138
Ran into a busy road and picked up a hedgehog. Wasn’t run over, but my hands stung for a week.
GloomyTeddy
I was about 12 years old and riding my bike home from high school when I saw a pack of pretty girls ahead of me, like 5 years older. This stretch of road meant I had to ride on the pavement, so I thought I’d be cool and overtake them by dropping down into the road and then jumping back up the curb once I passed them.
Well, I almost died that day. My determination to impress the girls overtook the part of my brain that deals with logic and I severely miscalculated the jump. I skidded against the curb and it bucked me out in to the middle of the road into oncoming traffic. I scrambled to get back onto the pavement and my bike flew clean off the floor and I was propelled into a bush.
Goal achieved: I overtook the girls. And they did come over to help and called me cute when I started crying, so I took it as a win. Haven’t been on a bike since, though.
snowdropwrites
I tried to do a backflip. I’ve never actually done a backflip before, not even on a trampoline. I actually would up just jumping backwards and hitting my head hella hard on the ground, and then I woke up and threw up a bunch. If she ever had a thing for me (which all my friends said she did), it was gone that day.
sailraccoon
On a 4th of July date after going out to dinner, I took her out on the lake in a canoe to watch the fireworks. It was awesome.
Young macho me, of course, turned down her offer of help with a large canoe and I manhandled that thing like it was nothing. Put her in it while it was on the grass and continued manhandling it to show off just how strong I was.
The next morning i had to call in to work sick because my back muscles were so strained I couldn’t get out of bed. My back was sore for over a week!
The_Superfist
Learned how to rap Crack a Bottle by eminem… when I showed him I could he only knew the clean version and I knew the actual dirty version
talktotori
Take up smoking in high school.
Didn’t get the guy and it took 15 years for me to quit smoking. Haven’t been a smoker for almost 7 years now. Quitting smoking was one of the hardest things I have done.
carm003
Not really dumb, but kinda funny to look back on now. I wasn’t good at sports, but I was fairly quick, so i joined the track team to impress a girl. Turns out the girl wasn’t impressed by runners, but I did end up going to state in the 100m dash and placing 2nd.
Edit: I also ended up getting a scholarship for track so it was sort of a win I guess. I just realized my entire school choice/career path has been a result of trying to impress a girl.
Humblebee89
Tried to razor scooter down the steepest hill around. Crashed into the back of a funeral hearse and shattered the back window. There was a body inside and the family was outside waiting to either go to the cemetery or take the coffin inside. I got up, covered in blood and glass, grabbed my scooter and hobbled away to the nearest alleyway.
brokendew
stab my leg with a kitchen knife
ElephantCarcass
I made sure I was the one to return her jacket when she forgot it at school. When I gave it back to her the next morning she blamed me for stealing it, we didn’t end up together.
Wow this blew up, thanks for my first platinum. For the people that were wondering, I did not steal the jacket.
remmie538
Well…. When I first got with my (now husband) I wanted a change so I dyed my hair jet black. I’m very, very white. I don’t fucking know why, but I used the boxed dye on my eyebrows too! I looked like a fucking freak and I thought it was so cute and he’d love it. What the fuck is wrong with me.
AvsMama
Sat through a marathon of the first 4 Twilight movies.
roscoetehclam
I was about 14 and met this dime who was vegan. She was cool and punk and did I mention she was a dime? Anyway when she told me she was vegan I told her I used to be but now I’m bulimic. Needless to say I wasn’t sure what being bulimic meant at the time.
Emrhyss
Learn Japanese. In hindsight, we have been going strong for 4 years now. Absolutely worth it. And no. Learning Japanese never really helped me impress her, who would have guessed that just being confident in myself was the thing that made her fall for me.
hanazawarui123
h/t Reddit
https://textbacklinkexchanges.com/the-unbelievably-dumb-things-we-do-to-impress-16-gifs/
News Photo The unbelievably dumb things we do to impress (16 GIFs)
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