DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend and I went to a swingers club to spice up our relationship. She hasn’t wanted sex with me again since.
I’m 31 and she is 29. We’ve been together for five years and our sex life had become a bit predictable and routine. We both agreed we’d like to involve other couples in it and I found a swingers club on the net.
We were both nervous but we needn’t have worried. Everyone was friendly and made us feel welcome. We chatted with several couples and there was one older pair in particular who seemed drawn to us.
It felt a little awkward at first but we had a few drinks and they invited us to go into a private room. It was obvious they’d done this many times.
We started playing around and eventually all ended up naked and doing sexual things to each other. I could see my girlfriend was enjoying every second.
It was as if that broke the ice for her. We went on holiday to Tenerife last month and went to a swingers bar. We had a couple of drinks and met this couple in their mid-thirties.
They were very good-looking and fun. Soon, we were swinging with them, too. The guy was well-endowed. He was much bigger than me, as I would class myself as average.
I did enjoy the evening and found it exciting but, ever since we got back from our holiday, our relationship hasn’t been the same.
We haven’t been intimate in any way. It’s not for want of me trying – even before I leave for work. My girlfriend keeps just brushing me off. Everything else is fine and we are still talking, not fighting.
I don’t know what the problem is, but I’m worried I’m not enough for her any more.
Topic 4 today
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DEIDRE SAYS: I really doubt that your girlfriend has lost interest in sex with you because that other guy had a bigger penis. Most women respond less to inches and more to feeling specially appreciated by a caring lover who understands women’s sexual responses.
Involving other people in your sex life so often leads to complications and you’re going to have to talk to your her about your worries.
Popular Dear Deidre problems
Maybe she’s worrying she’s not enough for you, or doesn’t mean enough to you for you not to want to share her with others.
Tell your girlfriend you want to make a fresh start and channel your energy into what you have together rather than going swinging.
My e-leaflet on 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex will help you find other ways of keeping your love life fresh just between the two of you.
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News Photo Wife hasn’t wanted to have sex with me since we went to a swingers club together
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